No Angel
by bishounen lovah
Summary: A ToFuuRai three-part special. Both Raiha and Tokiya are in love with Fuuko but who will she choose? R&R PLS! FIN
1. All You Want

**DISCLAIMER:**  I do not own FoR or any of its characters.  I also do not own the songs that I'm going to use for they belong to Dido.  This plot is a product of my imagination.  Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.

NO ANGEL 

By bishounen lovah

**Part 1:** Raiha

I stopped walking and quickly hid in the shadows of an alley.  I'd been following Fuuko for quite a long time now and I knew that she knew I was stalking her.  But she doesn't do anything to stop me and so for almost three years now I had become her shadow.

I watched her enter the grocery and decided that it would not be wise to follow her there.  Instead, I leaned on the wall and glued my eyes to the door across the street, waiting for her to come out.

The store beside the alley had its radio loud and blasting but I didn't mind.  The lively chatter of the deejays was actually amusing.  They were arguing on who would get to introduce their Pick of the Week CD Review.  In the end, the girl won over the guy apparently after a game of rock, paper, scissors.

She reminds me of Fuuko…refreshingly stubborn.

_"Ha!  When will you ever learn that I am the mistress of this game," the girl deejay exclaimed._

_"Okay, okay.  Stop gloating and do your job already," the guy deejay said in a not so enthusiastic tone._

_"I'm not gloating.  Do I look like I'm gloating?  Do I **sound** like I'm gloating?  You know what…let's take a poll.  Listeners, call in if you think my partner here is right or wrong."_

I couldn't help but chuckle.  If I hadn't seen Fuuko herself a few minutes ago I would have thought that the lady deejay was actually her.  I could hear the radio station's phones ringing almost instantly.

_"Alright then.  As we wait for our slaves to tally your votes.  I'll introduce to you our CD Pick of the Week.  Today it's Dido's turn to rule.  Her songs had been becoming very famous ever since she was featured in Eminem's hit rap song 'Stan'.  We'll be playing three of her songs within the hour.  So stay in your seats and glue your ears to your speakers.  Here is the first song we will feature from her phenomenal album '**No Angel**'.  This song is entitled '**All You Want**'."_

I grimaced as he heard the title of the song.  I had a feeling that the song would strike a nerve.  I wasn't mistaken.

****

**_I'd like to watch you sleep at night,_**

**_To hear you breathe by my side._**

**_And although sleep leaves me behind,_**

**_There's nowhere I'd rather be._**

_Fuuko_, I thought in pain.  She was what I wanted.  What I still want.

It's not because of her Fuujin although it started out that way.  About four years ago I had challenged her to fight me.  Her Fuujin versus my Raijin.  The God of Wind against the God of Thunder.

I plagued her day and night but still she refused to accept my challenge.  Instead she tried to befriend me even though I acted indifferently.  The girl just could not understand that we were destined to fight because of our madougus.

And so I resorted to drastic measures.  I kidnapped Ganko Morikawa and threatened to kill her if Fuuko did not fight.  Of course I had not meant that threat but she didn't know that.  So we fought.  She was good but without Kaze no Kadama to help her; she stood no chance against me.

She almost died.

It was at that moment I realized that I love her.  She had managed to get under my skin and unknowingly made me fall in love with her.  I quickly left to fetch Yanagi-san and from the shadows, I watched her heal the Fuujin wielder.  When she gained consciousness, I felt a great amount of relief and guilt.

I was the stupid one.  Stupid enough to think it was actually our destiny to fight.  Stupid enough to let my guard down and fall for her…hard.

But I did not regret acquiring the new emotion.  After a month of apologizing to her (and Ganko), she forgave me and we became friends.  Soon enough we became a couple then lovers.

****

**_And now our bed is oh so cold,_**

**_My hands feel empty, no one to hold._**

**_I can sleep what side I want,_**

**_It's not the same with you gone._**

For several months we lived together in pure bliss.  But as our relationship deepened I became more and more possessive of her.  I did not like it if she spent too much time with Recca and that gorilla, Domon.  I hated it whenever I saw her teasing Tokiya Mikagami.

I was jealous.  And it was my jealousy and possessiveness that drove us to fight.  Sure we had squabbles every now and then but none as serious as our fight over my faults.

Yes, I can now admit that our breakup was the result of my jealousy.  And it was my fault why she feels betrayed and unloved.

****

**_Oh if you'd come home, I'll let you know that_**

**_All you want is right here in this room, all you want._**

**_And all you need is sitting her with you, all you want._**

****

**_It's been three years, one night apart,_**

**_But in that night you tore my heart._**

**_If only you had slept alone,_**

**_If those seeds had not been sown._**

After our huge fight, I had turned to the person nearest me (literally).  Unfortunately, that person was Aki.  I had no idea that she was secretly harboring lust for me.  She used her Kotodama on me and distraught as I was, I instantly fell for her 'words'.

I had thought she was my Fuuko.  I had thought that she was back to forgive me and patch up our relationship.

I had thought it was Fuuko who I had made love to that night.

Imagine the shock that I felt when the real Fuuko came in.  Probably not as much as the shock that she felt but it came close.  It was then that I realized that Aki tricked me.

**_Oh you could come home and you would know that_**

**_All you want is right here in this room, all you want._**

**_All you need is sitting here with you, all you want._**

****

**_I hear your key turning in the door,_**

**_I won't be hearing that sound anymore._**

**_And you and your sin can leave the way you just came in,_**

**_Send my regards to her._**

****

I will never forget the look on Fuuko's face after the shock had been washed away by her tears.  I could remember the intense hurt visible in her eyes.  Never before had I seen that look on her face.  Not in her battles.  Not when she lost in a fight.

It was only then when she saw me in bed with Aki that I saw her assume a pained expression.  The kind of pain, I feared, that will never go away.

Fuuko rushed out of our apartment and came back a week later to collect her things.  I explained, apologized and even begged her not to leave me.  She listened but did not forgive me.  Her last words to me were to leave her alone.

That was three years ago.  Three long miserable years.  How can I leave alone the most precious thing that I had ever wanted?  The most precious thing I had.

The first year of our breakup I did not heed her plea.  I constantly bugged her into taking me back but all she did was look at me with pained indifference.  It even came to the point that Kurei-sama himself ordered me to leave her be.

I couldn't do that yet I couldn't disobey my master.  So I compromised.  For the next two years, I shadowed her movements.  Not bothering yet not releasing her.  I hoped that my devotion to her would make her realize what a mistake it was to leave me.  I hoped that it would make up for my past mistakes.

**_I hope you've found that_**

**_All you want is right there in that room, all you want._**

**_All you need is sitting there with you, all you want._**

****

**_I'd like to watch you sleep at night,_**

**_To hear you breathe by my side._**

****

In those years I spent following her, I had managed to put a leash on my jealousy.  If I wanted Fuuko back, I had to change my faults.  It was hard though for I watched she and Mikagami grow close together.  He had been the one who comforted her when we broke up with his silence.  For some reason, the Ensui wielder's silence and indifference have been the things she had needed and not the sympathy and kind words of the rest of the Hokage team.

I swallowed my anger and pride every time I would see Mikagami uneasily embrace her whenever she would break down.  As the months passed, an easy camaraderie developed between him and Fuuko.  He had thawed his icy exterior to her and only her.  And still I held back my jealousy.

Until last night.

Last night was the third year anniversary of our break up.  As usual I stalked Fuuko and watched her get drunk because of reasons that are unknown to me although I wished it was because she still misses and loves me.  I would have walked to her and talked to her but Mikagami came to her.  So I waited until Mikagami leaves her alone but it did not happen.

He had taken her home with him.

It took all of my energy to stop myself from barging in his apartment.  Fuuko wouldn't want that even though she would have been too drunk to notice.  So I waited and waited until morning came.  It was midmorning that Fuuko got out of the apartment

I knew that the time had finally come to confront her again.

I opened my eyes when the song ended and was startled to see Fuuko standing in front of me.  I was startled anew when she smiled at me and asked me to join her get some coffee.

I numbly nodded although my heart was beating a hundred times a minute.  It was time for us to talk and settle things.

_Kami-sama let her come back to me please._

To be continued… 

**BISHLOV NOTES:**

[1] OMG!  I didn't know that writing a song fic could be hard.  This is my first so I had a hard time making this work.  I decided to make this a three part special since this part got too long.  Part two will be Tokiya's POV and part three will be about Fuuko's POV (and who she chooses).  I'll be posting the next part every few days (a week at most) since I still have to make them.  All three parts are interrelated.

[2] I know Raiha's thoughts and the words of the song sometimes do not match.  Just stretch your imagination a bit.  This is the only song from the album that matches the plot closely.  Don't send flames about it, k?

[3] I am not really familiar on Raiha's behavior so I'm sorry if you think that he's out of character.  I had to make him act and think as such in order to make the plot work.  I may also have to change Tokiya's behavior in the next part, again for the sake of the plot.

[4] Please tell me what you think even if you thought I sucked.  I wanna know how I did with my first song fic.  And thanks a lot for spending time in reading this.  I truly appreciate it.


	2. Here With Me

BISHLOV NOTES:  Arigatou gozaimasu to all of you who reviewed the first part.  Thanks for all of the encouragements because I really needed them.  Oh and if you think this part is badly written, I'm sorry.  It's almost 2AM here right now and I'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard.  So without any other further interruptions, I would like to present to you the second installation to my very first song fic.  I hope you'll like it and please send in your comments…am I getting better or worse?  Ja, minna-san! 

**DISCLAIMER:**  I do not own FoR or any of its characters.  I also do not own the songs that I'm going to use for they belong to Dido.  This plot is a product of my imagination.  Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.

NO ANGEL 

By bishounen lovah

**Part 2:** Tokiya

The rays of sunlight poured from the window and fell on my face, slowly rousing me from my sleep.  My brain started to function again and almost instantly I recalled what had happened the night before.  My eyes shot open and my hands groped the area beside me.

Intense disappointment overwhelmed me when I realized that I was alone in bed.  I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes again.  I strained my ears, trying to hear if she might just be outside my bedroom but all I heard was the ongoing traffic outside and the annoying footsteps from the leaser upstairs.  From the open window I could hear the neighbor's radio blasting.

_"…And you've just heard 'Nobody Wants to be Lonely'…a great collaboration of famous artists Ricky Martin and Cristina Aguillera," a male deejay said as the song concluded.  "My partner is currently out of the booth giving a piece of her demented mind to one of our brave listeners who strongly believes that she's a gloater.  But don't let her scare you, folks…her bark is worse than her bite._

_Since she's distracted right now, I'll grab this golden opportunity to introduce our second feature song from Dido's '**No Angel**' album.  This song might sound familiar to you guys especially to those who watch the hit sci-fi TV show '__Roswell__'.  Yup.  Dido sang the opening song and it's called '**Here With Me**'.  Feast your ears with this…"_

**_I didn't hear you leave; I wonder how am I still here,_**

**_I don't want to move a thing, it might change my memory._**

I wasn't really listening for I was too caught up with my thoughts.

_Fuuko_, I thought as I turned on my side to gaze at the area where she laid just a few hours ago.  The cushion and the pillow were still dented by her body.  I could still smell the heady scent that was distinctly hers.  I took the pillow, hugged it to my bare chest and buried my nose against it.  Long strands of my unbound hair slid over my shoulder and the side of my head, further enclosing her fragrance.

Memories of what happened last night flooded my mind.  There were too many but I could recall every single detail nevertheless.

Last night had been a mistake.  A big one.  Fuuko must surely be angry with him right now.  However, I knew that if I searched my heart thoroughly, I would find out that I do not regret making love to her.  Not a single bit.

****

**_Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide._**

Around nine o' clock last night, she called me using her hand phone.  She didn't talk any sense so I knew that she must be drunk.  I quickly went to the local bar where we usually hang out and sure enough I found Fuuko downing what seemed like her fifth beer.

Apparently it was the third year anniversary of her breakup with Raiha.  Just the mention of that man's name makes my blood boil.  But of course I didn't let anyone, especially Fuuko, know that I hate that man's guts.  He had hurt Fuuko badly and to me that was unforgivable.

Ever since UBS, Fuuko and me had steadily became good friends.  Among the others, I found that I could only find solace with her.  At first I found it ironic that I would find comfort from that she-monkey but then I realized it made sense after all.  Yanagi-chan can only remind me of the sorrow of losing Mifuyu-neechan.  Koganei and Ganko were too young while Recca and Domon were just plain irritating.

Only Fuuko had understood how to handle me and my moods.  She always teased and bugged me but at the same time knew when to stop.  She had been my anchor…my only connection to sanity.  Without her, I would have drowned from intense sorrow and hatred.

She's my best friend.

And I love her dearly.

At first I thought it was just a friendly type of love or maybe brotherly even.  But then it came to the point that I frequently missed her and her annoying antics, couldn't stand to let her out of my sight for more than ten minutes, and had dreams of her every night.  It wasn't until my dreams turned lustful that I finally admitted to myself that I was totally madly in love with her.

****

**_I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me._**

**_I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me._**

****

I am angry with Raiha because of what he did to Fuuko, betraying her like that.

I am angry with Fuuko because after all these years, she's still pining over Raiha.  She couldn't forget about that baka…is probably still in love with him.

Most of all, I am angry with myself because I couldn't tell Fuuko how much she meant to me.  I am too much of a coward to tell her that I would rather die than lose her to Raiha.

I'm afraid to profess my love because I don't want to lose her.  If I told her that I loved her it would surely put an end to our friendship.  I knew that if I told her she would feel awkward about it since she didn't love me back and eventually she would start evading me.

No, I couldn't have that.  I would rather I kept my love a secret than to lose her completely.  I'm quite satisfied to be just her buddy…at least I try to be satisfied.

But for the first time in my life, my emotions got the better of me.

Looking around the room, my eyes fell on the neatly folded pile of clothes on the other side of the bed.  I sat up, grabbed the cloth on top, threw my legs across the edge then slipped my boxers on.  I noticed a couple of love bites on my chest and another one strategically hidden on my inner thigh.  Flashes of memories started to fill my mind.

****

**_I don't want to call my friends; they might wake me from this dream._**

**_And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been._**

****

Fuuko was too drunk last night to go home by herself.  I could have taken her home but walking several blocs to her apartment, half assisting half carrying her was not my idea of a romantic midnight stroll.  So I took her to my apartment since it was nearer.  I had no malicious intentions when I decided that.  I do not take advantage of weak women.  And at that moment, Fuuko was too drunk to have any strength to even push a cat off her.

At least I thought she was.

The moment we entered my home she started to throw herself at me.  I was too shocked to ward off her advances, not to mention too needy of her.  As each kiss became more and more heated, I lost the sense of control that I prided myself with.  It wasn't until when I tasted her salty tears that I jerked back to reality.

Fuuko must have thought that I was Raiha.  She must have been relieving her past affairs with him.

A bitter taste suddenly developed in my mouth then.  I may want her so much that it made my heart ache with unbearable pain but I did not want to take advantage of her bruised feelings especially when she was under the impression that I was her ex-lover.  So I started to pry her arms off my neck but she had a death grip to it.  It wasn't until she spoke up that I ceased my protests.

"Onegai.  Don't leave me, Tokiya," she tearily whispered to my ear.

_Tokiya_.

For the very first time she spoke my given name.  Not Mikagami.  Nor Mi-chan.

_Tokiya_.

I had always wanted to hear my name pass her soft lips.  And now that I did a sudden rush of inexplicable feeling surged my mind and body.  Without giving myself to have second thoughts, I swept her off her feet and carried her to my bedroom where we made exquisite love.

****

**_Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want but I can't hide._**

****

Even now my body is still reacting to the memory of my lips on her lips, my body on hers.  Skin touching skin.  My senses heightened by the feel of her long hair tickling my body.  And her hands that touched areas that drove me almost to the brink of insanity.

It was a night that I will never forget.

And regret.

Even if Fuuko regrets what happened between us, I will cherish that moment forever.

****

**_I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me._**

**_I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me._**

****

But what if she decides to end our friendship because of what had happened?

I closed my eyes as I felt the fear clutch my heart.  I could not bear the thought of losing her much less losing her in actuality.

But then I realized that it was that fear that kept me from being the free man that I could be.  All these years I hid my emotions behind my indifferent mask.  And even if Fuuko had managed to melt my icy heart I still hid what I felt for her for fear of losing her.

Now that our relationship had taken a leap forward, I should not let the fear of rejection threaten me.  We know each other intimately, mentally, emotionally and now physically.  It's time for me to take the chance and tell her how I really feel.  It wouldn't matter anymore if she does not love me in return.

I will make her fall in love with me.  So help me God I will.

She is the only woman for me and all be damned if I let her slip through my fingers again.

With my mind made up, I strode towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.  I need to find her first before I lose all of my courage and chicken out.

Today is the day when I'll confess my undying love to Fuuko and I won't let it end until I do so.

I won't let the sun set until I have her in my arms again.

To be continued…


	3. Thank You

**BISHLOV NOTES:**

I'm back, minna-san.  Sorry for the long wait.  The reason for my not updating sooner is the same as to my reason for the delay of "**Baby You're Mine**".  Thank you for bearing with my slow pace.  And also thank you very much for reviewing.  I'm glad many of you liked what I did.  A little warning though…this chapter is a bit rushed.  Sorry but I'm suffering from writer's block and creative drainage.  Please tell me what you think by sending in your reviews.  They will be greatly appreciated, I assure you.

**DISCLAIMER:**  I do not own FoR or any of its characters.  I also do not own the songs that I'm going to use for they belong to Dido.  This plot is a product of my imagination.  Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.

NO ANGEL 

By bishounen lovah

**Part 3**:  Fuuko

I wanted to fidget in my seat and twiddle my thumbs.  Raiha's intense looks always made me feel this way.  After all of these years his eyes still have the same effect on me.  I had developed some counter measures though.  To him, I would look calm and composed.

A snort almost escaped me because that was far from the truth.

The truth was I'm a nervous wreck.  It has been three years since I ran away from our problems, leaving maters undecided.  Three years I avoided him and three years he followed me.

Today is the beginning of another year but I'm determined to make this year and the years after this different.  Today I'm going to face my ghosts and put them to rest.  I'm going to break my silence…

Any minute now…

We thanked the waitress who brought our coffee.  I took a sip only to find out that it was still scalding hot.  An involuntary cry escaped my lips and sudden tears watered my eyes.

A white handkerchief was shoved to my face.  I stared at it for a full minute before taking it and muttering my thanks.  Memories flooded my brain.  It was always like this.  Me making clumsy mistakes and him tending to my booboos with silent concern.

It was what made me fall in love with him.  Most people thought that Fuuko Kirisawa was tough as tough can get.  But I am also human.  I can be vulnerable to pain too, may it be physical or emotional.  I may act like I'm a strong woman but the truth is I'm not.  I cannot always pretend to be strong nor do I want to.

And Raiha was the one who first saw through my tomboy act.  He wooed me with his silent charm and pampering.  He knew when to be mushy and when to back away.

Everything was blissful.  I loved him.  He loved me.  And then he loved me too much.

He became possessive.  A trait I could never acknowledge as positive.  I am my own person.  Nobody owns me.  I am not a thing that can be kept at hand at all times.  Heck, even dogs on leash had more freedom.

And then there was Aki.  Never before had I felt so betrayed.  Finding them in _our_ bed together, obviously sated, felt like my heart was ripped out.  And in all of these years I nursed my wound slowly and painfully, irked that Yanagi-chan's powers and words cannot heal me.

But now I am completely healed.  I had been for a long time but stubbornly refused to let go.  Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.  Now I won't wallow up in pain and let the suffering go.

It's time to let the past be the past.

"Raiha."

"Fuuko."

We chose to speak at the same time.  Laughing at our blunder, the tense atmosphere around us started to lighten up.  I chose to let him go first, curious as to what he wanted to say.

"Have you forgiven me, Fuuko?"

Raiha was never the one who talked in circles.  He was always straightforward.  I looked at his handsome face, the wind blowing strands of his dark hair across his nervous eyes.  He had suffered as I had.  Only the truth can set us free even if most of the time the truth can hurt.

"Yes, I forgave you a long time ago."

"I'm so glad."  He began reaching for my hands across the table but I moved them away.  I saw the nervousness come back to his eyes replacing his relief and was now accompanied by confusion.

"But we can't be together."  My hands balled into fists as I readied for the battle.  This was hurting me as much as it was hurting him.

"You said you forgave me.  Are you still worried about…I've changed, Fuuko!"

"No you haven't because if you did you would have stopped following me around.  Obsession isn't love, Raiha.  You're obsessed with me and I don't like that one bit."

I watched as different emotions warred on his face.  Giving out a sad sigh, I reached for his hands and clasped at them.  "I've been thinking about this for quite a while now.  What we had was very special but it wasn't meant to be.  You loved me for all the wrong reasons and you showed that love in all the wrong ways."

"I won't let you go," he gripped my hands tightly then loosened when he realized what he just said.

"I was never yours to let go, Raiha.  You do not own me.  Do you understand what I'm saying?"  I said in a whispered plea.

He released my hands as he begun to understand although it doesn't necessarily mean that he was beginning to like what was happening.

"The thing is if you weren't too possessive and too obsessed, you would have seen through Aki's ruse.  You wanted her to be me.  That isn't love.  That's' how I came to realize that what we had was not true love."

The next few minutes passed by in silence as I let him digest everything.  I looked around the coffee house and saw that we were the only customers but knew that the place will be packed any moment now.  The waiters busied themselves in preparation for lunch hour, happily humming to the song on the radio.

_"All right, folks, the hour is almost up and so is our shift.  Time surely flies when you're having fun and today we just had a blast," said the male deejay.  "The station would like to apologize to the listeners.  The poll that we just took was inconclusive because for some reason the list of results disappeared.  How do you suppose that happened, partner?"_

_"I have absolutely no idea," a female voice was heard over what suspiciously sounded like a shredder machine.  "But who cares about that stupid poll.  It's time to give you the last song for this week's CD Pick of the Week and we saved the best for last.  This song is included in Dido's '**No Angel**' and this is what made her famous."_

_"Yup," answered the guy.  "We're talking about 'the' song.  It's the one where Eminem took an excerpt and incorporated it with his 'Stan'.  My name is Bish and I bid you toodleloo and see you."_

_"And this is Tou-chan saying sayonara for today and enjoy this last song we're gonna blast at you.  Here's Dido with '**Thank You**'._

****

**_My tea's gone cold; I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all._**

**_The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all._**

**_And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall_**

**_It reminds me that it's not so bad; it's not so bad._**

I glanced back at Raiha and instantly felt guilty.  He looked downright miserable.  But there's nothing else I could do.  My mind was made up.  I no longer love him, perhaps as a friend yes, but not romantic love.  We do not belong with each other, that I am sure.

For three years I felt that way…miserable.  Pain kept me from living my life to the fullest in those years.  All I ever wanted to do was sulk and blame the whole world (particularly Aki) because of what had happened to us.  But I never sucked that long.

It was because _he_ wouldn't let me.

Tokiya kept me from wallowing in self-pity just as I kept him from his.  We complimented each other.  Together we got through the worst years of our lives and came out as good friends.

"You're in love with him."

Raiha's quiet statement jerked me out of my thoughts.  He was looking at me knowingly although his eyes were still tinged with jealousy and grief.

"Nani?!  What are you talking about?  Whom am I love with?"

"Mikagami.  You fell in love with him.  I was hoping it was just my imagination but now it's all very clear to me."

****

**_I drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain._**

**_I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again._**

**_And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day_**

**_And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad._**

****

I looked down at my folded hands, not knowing how to respond.  He was right.  I do love Tokiya.  I had been for a long time but did not realize it until last night.

Last night when I delved in the past again, thinking that drinking would make the past go away.  He stayed with me the whole night, listening to all of my ramblings.  But he never spoke a word…he just listened.

And for some reason, I felt a lot better than I had in three years.  It was like pouring out all of my negative emotions and ended up with a lot of room for positive ones.

Including love.

That was when I realized that the Ensui wielder was really the man that I needed.  Strong yet quiet.  Someone who gave me enough space to be myself yet was close enough to catch me when I fall.

He thought I was hopelessly drunk but I knew what I was doing.  I knew that I threw myself at him and I knew that he hesitated.  But I wanted him.  I wanted him to love me back.

And it was the best night ever.  He was very passionate yet extremely gentle.  Always giving me room to back out.

He's the perfect man for me.

"Yes," I finally admitted to myself and to Raiha.  "I love him but I'm not sure if he loves me back."

"He does.  He's been loving you for a long time now," he sadly replied.

I looked at him dubiously, thinking that he was just baiting me.  But then I realized that he was not the kind of person to do such.  He would never lie to me besides the fact that he won't gain anything if he did.

He told the truth even if the truth pained him.

I placed my hands back over his and looked deeply into his eyes.  "Daijoubu?"

"I will be…in time," he smiled sadly, giving her hands an affectionate squeeze.  "Be happy."

I stood up and laid some bills on the table.  I picked up my groceries and went to the other side of the table.  I bent over and gave Raiha a kiss on the cheek.  "I hope someday you'll see me as your friend again.  And until that day a piece of my heart will always be sad."

With one last smile I walked away from my past and strode towards the future.

_(AN:  Sorry RaiFuu fans!!!  I wanted him for myself.  Ohohohoho!)_

****

**_I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life._**

**_Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life._**

****

As I walked back to Tokiya's apartment, I wondered if I was doing the right thing.  Not the 'setting Raiha free' part but the 'admitting my love to Tokiya' part.  What if Raiha was mistaken and Tokiya did not really love me.

What if last night was just sex for him and not lovemaking?

I blushed as I recalled some events that happened during the wee hours of the night.  Recalled how he loved to use his teeth.  But I didn't mind.  In fact, I quite liked it.

Is it possible for a man to make love to a woman with such passion and not feel anything for her?

I decided that it doesn't matter.  Not that much anyway.  I'll tell him how I really feel and I wouldn't mind if he doesn't love me back.  It's not my place to be demanding.  I'll be content to being his friend.

I owe that much from him.  He kept me from going insane.  He opened up to me, showing me his beautiful heart and smiles.

I will always love him no matter what.

****

**_Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through._**

**_Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you._**

**_And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue_**

**_Because you're near me._**

****

I reached his doorstep in no time.  Taking a couple of deep breaths I inserted his keys which I took earlier and gently opened the door.  He was nowhere in sight.  For that I was slightly thankful for I wasn't quite ready to face him yet.

I closed the door and noticed sounds of movements coming from the bedroom followed by a blast of hair blower.  As I walked past his door, I couldn't help but smile at his obsession with his hair.  Not that I'm complaining.  I love his hair.  I love the feel of his silky tresses sliding across my skin.

_Ah, here I go again._  Being celibate for three years had shifted my libido to overdrive.  But I knew that lovemaking with Tokiya was different with what I had shared with Raiha.  I can't explain it but somehow uniting with Tokiya did not only unite our bodies but also our hearts and souls.

_Kami-sama!  I love him so much_.  I feel as though nothing could go wrong whenever I'm with him.

I placed the bag on the kitchen counter and started to unload the contents.  When I woke up this morning all I could think about was how right it felt being in his arms.  I stared at his sleeping figure for a long time then decided to make some breakfast.  Looking in his kitchen, I couldn't find anything edible so I decided to buy some food.

And the rest was history.  At least the part about Raiha and me is.

"Kuso," I heard him shout over the dryer.  It wasn't long before it was turned off.  "Damn hair!"

A surprised giggle escaped my lips.  I never thought the day would come when Tokiya Mikagami would ever curse his pride and joy.

Perhaps it was the ninja in him that made him hear such a small sound in the rather large apartment.  Because a second later he appeared at the kitchen doorway.

A lump suddenly appeared in my throat making it hard to breathe.  Tokiya's hair was unbound and was flowing down his back with shorter strands grazing at his naked chest.  He was wearing loose, black pants but aside from that there was nothing else.

I couldn't stop staring at him and his beautiful muscular body.  One because I'm enthralled by it and two because I was afraid to look in his eyes.  I was afraid to what I might see in them.

"Fuuko."

He had said my name many times but how he said it just then made my heart leap.  Mustering up all the courage that I have, I looked up to his face.

Sudden tears stung my eyes.  His face showed the emotions that I longed to see from him.  And his eyes mirrored the love that showed in my own eyes.

_He loves me.  He really does._

"Tadaima," I managed to whisper after a while.

"Okaeri," he replied as he held out his arms for me.

With no second thoughts, I flew right into his arms and buried my face against his chest.

"Aishiteru," he whispered in my ear.

Yes.  This year would definitely be different.

****

**_I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life._**

**_Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life._**

~OWARI~

**VOCABULARY:**

Tadaima – I'm home

Okaeri – Welcome home

Aishiteru – I love you

**BISHLOV:**  @_@.  Finally I'm done!!! Woohoo!!!  Three out of seven fics ^_^0.  I managed to edit this since some lovely reviewers pointed out that I kept on going back and forth on the POVs (which was true).  Thanks guys!!!  Hehehe.  Serves me right because I was writing another fic when I was making this one.  Guess I got confused.

Thank you to all of you who supported this songfic.  This was my first ever songfic and would probably be the last.  Without you and your reviews I couldn't have finished this at all.  But hey…I hope that you will still send in your reviews even if this is through.

ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU AND I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!


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